My toxic trait: waiting for permission to be an artist 🎨

Hi, I’m Ivanna 👋🏼 A girl from Ukraine, a young mom, and an artist. I can finally say that last part out loud without having a panic attack or expecting the “style police” to show up and arrest me for imposter syndrome.

For the longest time, my main hobby wasn’t painting—it was high-level procrastination. I’d spend ages perfecting random, useless stuff just to avoid facing a blank canvas. Why? Because I was terrified of meeting my own imperfection. If it didn’t look like a Louvre masterpiece in the first five minutes, it went straight into the trash.

My best power move lately:

I’ve officially given my art permission to be total crap. 💩

Right now, I only have a couple of hours a week (the “mom life” schedule is real). Is that enough? Maybe not. But now, it’s my time of absolute freedom.

• I’m done waiting for a “green light” from my inner critic.

• I’ve accepted the struggle as part of the game.

• If creating feels hard, it doesn’t mean “it’s not for me”—it just means I’m leveling up.

The world doesn’t care how much you suffer over a sketch. It just wants to see something real, even if it’s a bit messy.

Why am I coming out of my “bunker”?

I used to hide behind the phrase “I’m just not talented.” It was incredibly cozy. When you don’t show anything, nobody can tell you it’s bad. You move at “your own pace,” which is actually zero pace. Zero responsibility, zero risk, zero growth. 🚩

A few months ago, I desperately needed someone to tell me: “Hey, it’s okay. Just start drawing garbage.” Now, I’m stepping into that space myself, and I want to be that friend for you.

What to expect from this Substack:

No “overnight success” BS here. Just the real path, because I genuinely want to be the friend I needed so badly until recently (and let’s be real, I still do):

• Finding the audacity to be an artist when you’re dealing with anxiety, trauma, and zero free time.

• Why “bad” art is actually the only bridge to greatness.

• How to stop being your own biggest hater.

Thanks for being here❤️Let’s grow together—even if it looks a little crooked at first.